I woke at 5 am feeling inexplicably anxious. couldn't get back to sleep so got up. someone had stolen the back wheel of my bike so i got the tube to work. we had a 9 am meeting where we were told that no one would be getting a bonus or a pay rise this year ( obviously this was not a surprise).I found out one of my favourite merchandisers eric had been made redundant, the company he works for, that we have production with is on the brink of going into administration i think. did my expenses from HK trip and realised i owe £200.
I think the anxiety is about turning 30...or maybe the credit crunch...or being trapped im my job....or maybe losing it...or maybe dying alone and unloved having achieved nothing...or maybe it was realising that paul newman really is dead! its strange, anxiety really isnt my style. anyway today was well pony.
this usually cheers me up...
nope even that didnt work still feeling BLEAK :-(